Yeniboğaziçi specialist advises calm, consistent school drop-offs

Children settling into school should not be judged by how quickly they stop crying, but by whether they are beginning to feel secure in the new environment, a specialist at Near East University Yeniboğaziçi Hospital has said.

Deniz Aykol Ünal told Halkın Sesi that starting school can involve meeting unfamiliar adults, peers and rules while also temporarily separating from a caregiver who makes a child feel safe. She said children’s adjustment can differ depending on temperament, developmental characteristics and earlier experiences, and advised parents not to compare one child’s progress with another’s.

Ünal said anxiety around school may appear in ways beyond crying or saying a child does not want to attend. These may include clinging to a parent, anger, difficulty sleeping, stomach pain or nausea.

She advised parents to acknowledge a child’s feelings rather than dismissing them, while helping the child feel safe. A calm and determined approach is important, she said, but being calm does not mean a parent cannot feel sad.

According to Ünal, lengthy goodbyes, returning after leaving the classroom or going away without the child knowing may increase uncertainty. She recommended a goodbye that is brief, clear and consistent.

When to seek further support

Ünal said professional assessment should be considered where a child persistently refuses school, repeatedly reports physical complaints, has marked sleep problems, intense fear, social withdrawal or prolonged severe distress.

She noted that school refusal may be linked to separation anxiety, but can also be associated with social anxiety, difficulties with peers, bullying, learning problems or other psychological factors. The comments were published by Halkın Sesi on September 24.